


The Renegade Tourbus

by neveralarch



Category: Doctor Who (1963), Doctor Who (Big Finish Audio)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-01-16
Updated: 2011-01-16
Packaged: 2017-10-19 08:30:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,847
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/198915
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/neveralarch/pseuds/neveralarch
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p><em>Matrix archives: mailing list section. Fragments from the 'Gallifreyan Expatriate Circular', commonly referred to as the 'GEC'.</em></p>
            </blockquote>





	The Renegade Tourbus

**Author's Note:**

> Originally written for the best_enemies anonmeme.

_Matrix archives: mailing list section. Fragments from the 'Gallifreyan Expatriate Circular', commonly referred to as the 'GEC'._

 _Archivist's note: this is all that remains of a once copious body of messages after an attempt by an unknown party or parties (possibly the Master?) to destroy all records of this mailing list. The entire collection in fact appeared to have been destroyed; only recently was a selection of messages found to have been copied by a junior archivist. Only a few threads exist, none in their entirety, and none from the same period. Access to these messages should be granted only after an extensive security check._

\---

 _To: GEC list  
From: the.Monk  
Subject: sticking together!!!!_

I realise that if my last few notes haven't convinced you of the ERROR of your WAYS, nothing will. But I just want you to know that, as a fellow renegade, I think it extremely impolite that you keep ruining my plans. I was very lucky to escape the Daleks, no thanks you.

I know I'm sending this to the list. You know who you are, and now the whole list knows about your behaviour.

Didn't we used to be friends?  
-The Monk

 _To: GEC list  
From: the.Master  
Subject: re: sticking together!_

Mortimus, the Doctor could care less about respecting your plans. Take it from me, he's much more concerned with his antiquated notions of timeline preservation and self-determination. He recently left me to die after spoiling a very intricate infiltration. He actually called the authorities - ridiculous, I know. It's as if we were back in twentieth year at the academy.

In other news, I am no longer accepting mails at the.War.Chief. See above complaint about the Doctor for explanation.

The Master

Addendum: Mortimus, I deleted all those superfluous exclamation marks in the subject line for you. One is quite sufficient.

\---

 _To: GEC list  
From: wild.time.iris  
Subject: fwd: send this to twenty friends and your true love will find you!_

i hope this is true, mdears! plz open the attachment, i checked and nothing happend to my lovely bus. btw, how many people are on this list?

 _To: GEC list  
From: the.Rani  
Subject: re: fwd: send this..._

Who sent this? I don't recognize the name, and it should have been impossible for you to get on the list without my approval as moderator. Regardless, forwarded messages and chain mails are disapproved of, and the membership should not send them. Consider this your warning, although I shall be trying to remove you from the list anyway.

To answer your question (more for the benefit of others interested) there are currently nine _official_ members of the list, of which only five are usually active. The other four are grandfathered from the original list created by Omega and distributed from the anti-matter universe.

Yes, before you ask, we do still distribute to all known universes. This is very difficult, technically speaking, and is also why I am moderator and not, for instance, Drax.

Also, you may note, this means that your laughable love spell did not work.

The Rani

 _To: GEC list  
From: wild.time.iris  
Subject: re: fwd: send this..._

thanks, bb! i know you send it everywhere, thats how i always get it lol.

guess you didnt kick me off yet! i still nedd to find 11 more people to send my fwd to tho... 

\---

 _To: GEC list  
From: the.Doctor  
Subject: update_

Still stuck on Earth. The exile part of being a renegade is v. boring. I have the most dreadful job, and my 'employer' has demonstrated an unparalleled lack of imagination. Refused to pay for my spectrograph, which I need to perform the tasks he assigned me to do. Absurd. I have retaliated by locking myself in my TARDIS to write a message to all of you.

And to do important repair work, of course. Will get right to that. The TARDIS is very nearly functional(!), and with luck I'll be off again soon.

In other news, I've been seeing the Master regularly. He currently isn't in a position to send updates, so I'll just say that he's looking well and is likely to be on Earth and out of commission for quite a while. Doing time, just as I always expected.

And how is everyone else?  
-the Doctor

 _To: GEC list  
From: drax.cybernetics  
Subject: re: update_

Doing fine, me! How're all my old classmates, eh? Making names for themselves? Appreciated the note, Thete, but I'd like to say your sniffy tone about serving prison time on Earth is not on. None of us here are exactly on the right side of the law, are we?

Your old mate Drax

 _To: GEC list  
From: prof.chrono  
Subject: re: update_

Just popping in to say that while being imprisoned is hardly pleasant, it does lend character. Perhaps you shouldn't be so quick to judge, Doctor.

 _To: GEC list  
From: the.Doctor  
Subject: re: update_

I'm /most sorry/. Really now, he's escaped anyway.

-the Doctor

\---

 _To: GEC list  
From: morbius.brain.of  
Subject: please remove_

I, Morbius, am returned from the grave! And all I see in my inbox is spam from this list. I no longer wish to receive messages.

 _To: GEC list  
From: the.Rani  
Subject: re: please remove_

Look, just go into your preferences and remove yourself from the list. I can't be bothered to deal with this.

The Rani

 _To: GEC list  
From: romana.dvoratre.lundar  
Subject: re: please remove_

Could you take me off here too, please? I think the Doctor added me without my permission.

~Romana

 _To: GEC list  
From: the.Rani  
Subject: re: please remove_

_Do it yourselves._ It's perfectly simple. You just have to go into your inbox, then preferences, then lists, then select the GEC list, drag the icon into the trash bin on the corner of your screen, and empty the trash bin. You may have to do this more than once, as the list subscriptions reset every once in a while.

Honestly, I don't see what's so hard to understand. Don't e-mail either me or the list about this again.

The Rani

 _To: GEC list  
From: wild.time.iris  
Subject: re: please remove_

plz remove me from this list. oh wait you can't! lol ;)

 _To: GEC list  
From: the.Rani  
Subject: re: please remove_

Believe me, I'm working on it. Just as soon as I have a moment, it's either removing you from the list or devising a mail virus that actually infects the user.

The Rani

\---

 _To: GEC list  
From: the.Doctor  
Subject: update_

Me again. Everything's fine here, despite an overabundance of companions. Have decided that, in the future, two is the absolute limit. Have also declared a moratorium on stewardesses, Australians, and combinations of the two.

Anyway, enough about that lot. I have two hours free from them, and I'd love to hear how all my old friends/enemies are doing. Anyone on?

The Doctor

 _To: GEC list  
From: the.Master  
Subject: re: update_

I'm well, and definitely the better for you asking.

 _To: GEC list  
From: the.Doctor  
Subject: re: update_

I wasn't especially interested in you.

 _To: GEC list  
From: the.Master  
Subject: re: update_

Doctor, that's hardly polite. After all, I'm most interested in you. The least you could do is return the favour.

 _To: GEC list  
From: the.Doctor  
Subject: re: update_

Mhm. Well, maybe you could convince me.

 _To: GEC list  
From: the.Master  
Subject: re: update_

In writing, or should I come and do it in person?

 _To: GEC list  
From: the.Doctor  
Subject: re: update_

Writing will be quite sufficient for now. As I have mentioned, my TARDIS is currently full of impressionable young people. And no, I don't want you to fix that for me.

But feel free to describe any actions you'd like to take. I've still got at least an hour before I'm expected to finish 'maintenance'.

 _To: GEC list  
From: the.Master  
Subject: re: update_

Luckily for you, I've been told I have quite a way with words.

If your TARDIS was a little more empty, I'd materialise inside, nesting our ships together. You'd be in the console room, warned of my arrival by your sensors, no doubt. I'd sweep out of my ship and you'd whirl, pressing your back against the console of your own TARDIS. I'd step closer, reaching up one hand to trace your cheekbone, and you wouldn't be able to pull away. You wouldn't want to.

Should I go on?

 _To: GEC list  
From: the.Doctor  
Subject: re: update_

By all means. You've hardly said anything particularly convincing yet.

 _To: GEC list  
From: the.Master  
Subject: re: update_

Merely testing the waters. I wouldn't want to scare you off.

 _To: GEC list  
From: the.Doctor  
Subject: re: update_

I don't scare easily. Go on.

 _To: GEC list  
From: the.Master  
Subject: re: update_

(Lies don't become you, Doctor. But I'll continue anyway.)

You're not wearing your coat, not in the TARDIS. I push your braces off slowly, with the hand that isn't cupping your cheek. After that I unbutton your shirt, revealing the porcelain flesh underneath.

Neither of us have spoken, yet. My hand drops from your cheek and I work at your belt as my mouth explores your chest. You push my hands off as your trousers fall open, but only to remove my jacket. You indicate that I should leave my gloves on without breaking the charged silence.

I can see your arousal outlined through the thin fabric of your pants. You hitch yourself up onto the console as I undo my own belt.

As I press forward again, you hook your legs around my waist, preparing for what is to come. You draw me in with your arms, and we share our first kiss since I entered. Your tongue pushes into my mouth, greedy and unashamed.

More to follow...

 _To: GEC list  
From: the.Doctor  
Subject: re: update_

Becoming increasingly convinced. Would type more, but can only do so much with one hand.

Small correction: actually have lots of freckles on chest.

 _To: GEC list  
From: the.Master  
Subject: re: update_

Really? Not last I checked, though I suppose that was immediately after your regeneration.

 _To: GEC list  
From: the.Rani  
Subject: re: update_

You do realise that the pair of you have been sending your little intimate moment to the entire mailing list? The reply all button is not your friend.

The Rani

 _To: GEC list  
From: wild.time.iris  
Subject: re: update_

bb, don't spoil the fun 8D

 _To: GEC list  
From: the.Doctor  
Subject: re: update_

Very sorry! Turlough managed to get into my inbox somehow, you know these young men. Trolling, I think they call it.

The Doctor

 _To: GEC list  
From: the.Master  
Subject: re: update_

Doctor, if you're going to stick to that story, you'd better be prepared to explain how the Trion knows what your chest looks like.

 _To: GEC list  
From: automatic.update  
Subject: none_

User: the.Doctor is no longer a member of GEC list.


End file.
